Tree of Life #1 ~ Uterine fibroid

{Awesome Happy Life}
As long as I don’t forgive someone I am linked to that person. My thoughts will return to the person who wronged me and what he or she did over and over again.
The emotional link between us is so strong and inflicts much suffering in me and – as a result of my inner turmoil – most often in other people around me too. When I forgive me do not only release the other person. I set myself free from all of that agony too.

{My Successes} 

  1. With my value of insight, Be brave to get back up – to try again, to live again and to dream again. Stop letting a hard lesson harden my heart. Life’s best lessons are often learned at the worst time and from the worst mistakes. I go through the worst, to arrive at my best.
  2. With my value of empowerment, I envied her more, she was a strong woman, caring & supportive. A good leader and great manager. She was a great example & she empowered me lots and Thank you so much.
  3. With my value of joy, I had a piece of cake for my lunch and I loved it.
  4. With my value of insight, Never be discouraged by the distance I still have to travel. I appreciate how many “life miles” I have already covered. My struggles have changed me into a stronger and better person. Never let anyone dissuade me from blooming into the person I am meant to be. Just keep walking.
  5. With my value of dare, I was severed by a arrogant woman-hater in this store, I was upset and I gave my feedback.
  6. With my value of care, after a negative event, I took a nap and I was exhausted.
  7. With my value of clarity, I got the Sindy lasagna ingredient and I gotta cook this tomorrow. I prepare for my week.
  8. With my value of strength & sharing, I am not afraid of this tree in my uterus <NL: Vleesboom, ENG: Myoma> and I dared to talk about it and to share my journey.
    I had a laparoscopy in 2008 and I was diagnosed intramural fibroid in my uterus, it was then 8 cm and located within the muscular wall of my uterus. I have told that I will grow old without problem and I have told that it’s an issue in my family <never get my DNA tested to confirm this.>
    In December 2017 I felt a hard lump in my belly, I had some problems during my menstrual cycle and my chiropractor mr B <I called him my magician> suggested that I gotta have a check with this. He took good care of me and I was grateful for his love and care.
    I got checked by ultrasound and hysteroscopy and the fact was that this tree grew bigger after the years, it’s now 15 cm and basically I carried an orange with me everyday.
    During the hysterocopy, my gynecologist also found a polyp in my uterus and it was too much for me to see this on the monitor. I was very emotional, scared and shocked. I was thankful that my sweet baboo was there with me.  I can’t suppressed my tears and my fear at that moment, then I realized that I gotta do something about it. What if it will grow bigger? What if  I will have more symptoms and problems? what if it will turn cancerous? Many questions popped in my head, I asked for support & clarity and I appreciated the support of my gyn.
    I shared my experience with my family, some friends and some co-workers and I have heard many similar stories and their experiences. I was grateful for my openness and caring and I dared to share my story. I didn’t feel ashamed or incomplete or less a woman. A uterus doesn’t define who I am. I can’t bare my own kid doesn’t spoil my happiness. I am a female and nothing will change with (or without) a uterus. I have one organ less and I am still me.
    We decided to have an operation to remove this tree and my uterus. It’s my body and it’s my responsibility, I also discussed this with my partner and we decided that no kids in our lives will be fine. My health is more important than extra members of our family.  He is always very supportive, caring and loving. I can’t make it alone without his support.
    In 4 weeks, everything was planned and I got more information about the PREP, the operation and what will happen before/after the operation. The clarity provided calmness in my mind.
    In my last appointment with my anesthesiologist and he told me that my Hemoglobin (Hb) was too low <low red blood count> and what I can do to improve my condition? I eat healthy daily, less red meat, more veggie and what else can I do? For the first time I got multi-vitamin pills with iron. My health is my focus now and I wanna be fit, healthy and ready for the operation.
    With my sharing, I have experienced many loves, cares and insights from everyone. I don’t usually share my personal things with everyone, I live my moment and I don’t worry about the whole world at THIS MOMENT. I don’t see this as a selfish act, when I don’t care for me, then who the hell will do it for me. When I take care of everyone and I forget me, then it is the most stupid thing I do to me. My self love is between me and me, 1 girl in the world is the most important person in my life ~ Me.
    In 3 days I will have my operation and I am ready for this and I will experience the new phase of my life.
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